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Thursday, March 17, 2011

Hawaiian Insights; Am I Really Not Good Enough?

            As I sit here on my balcony, staring at the sparkling ocean in Hawaii, I realize that I’m more fortunate than most, for I am in this magical, tantalizing spot of the planet, smelling the perfumed air and breathing in the luscious beauty of the island of Lana’i.  But on some level, I know that no matter where I am, I take “me” with me, and even here, I was a bit challenged at the beginning of the week.
            I am with my husband, a top notch attorney, who was invited into an elite society of “accomplished” barristers (lawyers), and the group (with spouses) meets each morning for wonderful speakers who speak on very interesting topics, non-law related.  This, as it turns out, has been an incredible experience, full of lots of food for thought.
            However, the main food for thought for me, has been of another nature.  At the start of the week, I found myself in a roomful of high-achieving, ambitious, talented people -  just the kind of people I grew up with and the ones who push all my “not good enough” buttons.  The question that popped into my mind immediately, of course, was “What have YOU achieved, Laurie?” 
            Having considered this question for as long as I can remember, and recalling my younger years when my dad would ask me the same thing, I realized that I was in the perfect place to sort this through in a new way.  What an opportunity!  (Because I now view all emotional triggers as opportunities.)  I had been working on creating new perceptions involving our connectedness as living beings, and my old habit of comparing myself to others was being triggered AGAIN!   How appropriate!  I was being given the exact scenario to see this differently and let go of that old habit once and for all.
            So, putting together all of what I had learned recently through the Abraham teachings, and through the Buddhist view of things, I was able to see clearly how we are all connected by Divine Spirit.  I realized that it wasn’t those high-achieving “people” who were accomplishing anything.  They were merely the vehicles for God to work through, to create whatever God desired.  In other words, it wasn’t “men and women” doing these things, it was the God in them doing it.
            While I realize this is rather esoteric, it helped me to realize our connection to one another through this “ocean of consciousness” of which we are all a part.  Now, I see the ocean from my balcony, and it reminds me that the “ocean of consciousness” is a part of all of us.  We come from this ocean and we go back to this ocean.  It is a CREATIVE FORCE, so great, that as human beings, it is difficult to conceptualize.  However, I know now that I am that Force.  You are that Force.
I am a part of you.  And you are a part of me.  It would be absurd for me now, to compare myself to anyone else, because they are all me.  And their accomplishments are amazing and honorable and yes, different from mine, but it’s oh so wonderful to take pride in who we all are – Imaginative, Artistic, Resourceful, and Ingenious, Great Spirit!  I aim to contemplate this truth for the rest of my days here and to share with anyone I can, the power of this insight.  


  1. Thank you, Laurie - this post really spoke to me. I read your bio under the "About Me" heading on your blog page and thought that you would be someone I might feel "not as good as" in terms of achievement and status. And here you are saying that a different group of people triggered those feelings in you, such an accomplished person! That was a real insight. I could easily see that it is absurd for you to feel that way, yet when I experience those same feelings of insecurity and inferiority, it somehow seems fitting. I liked your realization about the ocean of which we're all a part, and I liked that you were able to view yourself differently afterward. I'm going to use your experience as an inspiration to let go of my own "less than" feelings - such a waste of Divine energy! Thank you, Ronelle Grier, freelance journalist

  2. Laurie, My dear friend, who I have known for 25 years, you have accomplished so much, but in a different way than those around you. Besides being a loving wife in a long-term marriage (rare these days), a loving daughter, who cares for her mom, a great mother and now a grandmother, you are an accomplished author, spiritual teacher, counselor, organizer and leader of Attitudinal Healing in Detroit area. Spirit has pushed you in a different direction than most, and you are successful and amazing! Thanks for sharing this special insight Love, Donna May

  3. Ronelle, Thanks so much for your comment. I have struggled with this "not good enough" issue for a long time. But this Hawaii time seemed to be an
    "ah ha" moment for me. I find that if I ask to see clearly and if I meditate just a few moments each day on this concept, it becomes a more and more solid part of my awareness. Glad this helped you to see the greater truth of existence. With warm blessings, Laurie

  4. Donna, You are a dear friend indeed. Thank you so much for those words. They mean so much to me. Happiness is a friend like you!